There’s a strange loneliness in realizing that people only reach out when they need something. They call me a “good friend” in those moments, but I know it’s not true. To them, I’m just someone useful—a problem-solver, a helper. Once their need is fulfilled, they forget me.
What hurts even more is when I seek help. I’ve reached out in my moments of struggle, only to hear, “I’ll get back to you.” But they never do. Their promises feel hollow, and I’m left wondering if they even considered helping or if it was just a polite way to brush me aside. It stings because it shows that the care I offer is not something they’re willing to return.
I’ve asked myself if I’m to blame. Maybe I’m too available, too eager to help, making it easy for them to see me as a convenience rather than a friend. But should I have to guard my kindness just to feel valued?
I still help, even knowing the pattern won’t change. Maybe it’s hope—hope that someone will eventually see me for who I am, not just what I can do for them. But I’m learning to draw boundaries. I’m learning that my worth isn’t tied to how useful I am.
True friendship isn’t about being needed; it’s about being valued. And until I find that, I’ll hold onto the belief that I deserve more than empty promises and forgotten favors.
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