I finally gave up on God. Not because I wanted to. But because I tried again and again to believe, and it slowly stopped making sense. I prayed for things. I begged. I asked with hope. But most of the time, nothing happened. Some good things did happen in my life. But honestly, those things came because of hard work, not prayer. We work day and night, we struggle, we stay consistent—and when success comes, we say “God did it.” But it was our effort. Our pain. Our discipline. When my father was sick, I completely broke. I cried in front of God. I prayed more than ever before. I truly believed God would save him. But God didn’t. My father died. After that, I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. If God exists and still does nothing, then what is the point? To me, God felt like someone who only watches—silent, distant, doing nothing. So for me, God does not exist. Or even if God exists, He has no power to change things. For me, hard work is God. Hard work gives results. Hard work changes life. ...
I still remember that day—I was in Class 6. The sky was cloudy, and a light drizzle had made the school ground smell of wet mud. Our class teacher, Mrs. Lata, had just entered with a big smile and announced, “This year, our class will perform a play on Lord Krishna’s life for Janmashtami!” All of us became so excited. Hands shot up for roles—Radha, Sudama, Balram—and then, the most special one, Krishna. I don’t know what gave me the courage that day, but I slowly raised my hand and said, “Ma’am, can I be Krishna?” Some of my classmates looked at me in silence… and then, they started laughing. “You? Krishna?” “Arey, Krishna was handsome…” “Tui toh kalo!” “Krishna looks divine, not like you!” Their words cut deeper than I could understand at that age. I stood there, awkward and frozen, pretending like it didn’t affect me. But my heart was shaking. And then, our teacher smiled and said, “Let’s give the Krishna role to Arnav, he’s perfect for it.” Arnav was tall, with a sharp nose and fair...